Pregnancy is the greatest gift we women have. It’s one of life’s incredible miracles, growing another human being inside us. From the exciting moment you find out through to feeling those first baby kicks to finally having your precious baby in your arms, it’s a journey that will be joyful, puzzling, tiring, and often quite embarrassing!
I remember the overwhelming excitement when I found out I was pregnant. All of a sudden I felt like Mother Earth, in touch with myself, my body, nature and all things peace, love and Mung Beans. It felt like the most natural thing in the world. I’d heard about that ‘Glow’ you get, the joy of feeling those first kicks and the alluring maternal instinct that just ‘kicks in’. I would nest, bake and sew within an inch of my life. I’d be peaceful and butterflies would dance around me the entire time, and I would be the most beautiful pregnant woman!
I can’t help but equate being pregnant to a roller coaster ride. While incredibly exciting, most days you’ll want to throw up, you’ll be wrecked with fear about all the drinks you had the night you conceived, you’ll scream at your partner (hourly) and let’s not forget how downright undignified it can get. Your body will do things you may never forgive it for!
It was probably around 35 weeks when it finally dawned on me while down on all fours, throwing up in the Food Court of a Shopping Mall (having also wet myself), near a bunch of innocent bystanders that I realised, perhaps this wasn’t the glamorous experience I had expected. It wasn’t all bad, some nice folks brought me a chair, cold water, fanned me and the lovely lady in the nearby clothes shop took pity and gave me a new frock. It was really nice frock too! Ah, good times.
Every smell saw me throwing up. My nickname became ‘puke-in-a-pocket’. I had no ‘Glow’, I was exhausted, I still couldn’t bake, sew and had zero desire to clean and nest like I was supposed to! I didn’t even have any desire to sort a nursery. What the hell was going on? Baby was due in 5 weeks and I still had no maternal instinct! I was freaking out. It didn’t help that my partner passed out in the prenatal classes watching the birthing video. I was mortified. It was at this point, I started to think that people really do need serious training, professional screening, or some sort of licence to become a parent. It’s appalling that people like us could just procreate unsupervised!
Sure, I experienced the infamous physical symptoms. Whole cheesecakes for breakfast, chocolate laced gherkins and dipped my French fries in ice-cream. I was ridiculously uncomfortable and walked like a penguin. My partner was constantly terrified of this swearing, sarcastic, screaming mess that was carrying his precious child. I forgot I parked the car in the garage and called the cops about my stolen car because it wasn’t on the driveway where I normally left it. The milk was in the linen cupboard and my iron is in the dishwasher and my hubby didn’t bat an eyelid. Still, something was missing. I did not feel like the beautiful, glowing, movie-like fairytale pregnant woman I was damn well supposed to be!
After nine months of sheer panic, uncouthness, hideous weight gain and diabolically embarrassing moments, this gorgeous little baby was in my arms. From that moment, a really weird thing happens. You think, ‘Oh I want another one!’ Okay, so pregnancy may not be the most glamorous time of your life, and for those who are just embarking on the journey, throw out all expectations, expect the unexpected, be kind to yourself and try not to emotionally scar your partner for life, don’t eat cheesecakes for breakfast, find the comedy as much as possible and stay near a bathroom! It’s all worth it!
Happy pregnancy!
Eve Grelisxx |
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